Tanzania is suffering from a horrible plague of R.O.B

Richard: My God, what have you done to your face?
Godfrey:(scratching his chin):God has nothing to do with it.
Richard: But you look terrible. You have come out in…
Godfrey: You don’t have to remind me. But if it pleases, allow me to tell you. I am suffering from boils. Nothing else. Just a case of G.O.B.
Richard: What did you say it was called?
Godfrey: Do I have to spell it out?
Richard (Glugging his beer and nodding).
Godfrey: G.O.B! Good Old-Fashioned Boils.
Richard: So how did you get G.O.B?
Godfrey: Stress. At least, that is what the doctors say.
Richard: Good old-fashioned boils. But you say you are stressed. I can’t believe that. You’re the most laid back guy in town. You take your job at the tax office seriously. Your desk is your day bedroom.
Godfrey:(shaking his head): How can wrong can you be.
Richard: What is stressing you? Can’t be work.
Godfrey: Ever since the Boss paid a visit to our office…
Richard: So you are putting the blame for your G.O.B. on Magufuli?
Godfrey: You could not, my friend, have put it better. Of course I am. Ever since he came to the tax office, I have been suffering. But at least I only have boils. Only G.O.B. Thank the Good Lord I do not have R.O.B.
Richard R.O.B?
Godfrey: Yes R.O.B.
Richard: I am getting confused. First you talk about G.O.B. and now you are talking about R.O.B. Are there two such syndromes?
Godfrey: (sighs): Get me a beer and I will explain. I am surprised you have never heard of R.O.B. The whole country is suffering from it.
Richard: Well, I can’t say I have. You are telling me that boils. ROB, whatever you want to call it, is spreading through Tanzania.
Godfrey: Yes, like a plague.
Richard: How does this R.O.B. affect people?
Godfrey: It seeks out the mind. The brain, I suppose. It affects your appetite first.
Richard: Your appetite. So it makes you hungry?
Godfrey: Exactly. R.O.B. makes the sufferer hungry.
Richard: So what do the victims do? How do they ease their hunger?
Godfrey: They can’t.
Richard: You mean they eat and eat and eat until they burst.
Godfrey: It is not food they yearn for. It is money.
Richard: So this is R.O.B. What does it mean, R.O.B?
Godfrey: R.O.B. stands for Rapid Onset Boils.
Richard: Why boils? You say they do not have boils like you, pustules on the face or back?
Godfrey: No. What boils in them is their hearts and their brains. these R.O.B. sufferers boil out of envy and avarice. They boil because they want to have the best 4x4, the finest villa overlooking the ocean; they boil because they want a top education for their children and they boil because they want the latest fashions for their mistresses to dress in.
Richard: So how does the disease progress?
Godfrey:, Once R.O.B. enters the bloodstream, it quickly takes over the brain. All the sufferer can think about is money. How to get it, how to spend it. It is, unfortunately a silent killer. It creeps up on the victim before he knows it. Only when it has taken hold can its symptoms be recognised.
Richard: So R.O.B. turns people into criminals?
Godfrey: You have hit the nail upon the head. This, I believe, is your one and only talent to hit the nail upon the head. These victims learn to steal.
Richard: What about their conscience? And aren’t they afraid that they will be caught?
Godfrey; (laughing): Conscience! Haha! Who has a conscience in Tanzania? Conscience is something we lost on our way to primary school. And are they afraid of being caught? Of course they are not afraid.
Richard; But surely…
Godfrey: Who should be frightened of? The police? The judges?
Richard: Well…
Godfrey; The police and the judges are afflicted too.
Richard; Do you mean they have R.O.B?
Godfrey: Of course they do.
Richard: Is R.O.B. contagious? Could I catch it?
Godfrey: Only if you are fortunate enough. You need to spend some time alongside a person who has it. Someone important like a boss of a parastatal or a judge or a top policeman or a big man in a government agency.
Richard: You mean all these top people have R.O.B?
Godfrey: You are learning fast.
Richard: So the whole country is affected?
Godfrey: I am afraid it is. We spend our lives feeding our greed.
Richard: Is there any cure?
Godfrey: Not for the moment. But there is hope.
Richard: How?
Godfrey: Because at least the disease has been identified. Now the victims are being identified and instead of promoting them, rewarding them for their actions, as was the common practice, they are being sidelined.
Richard: What does that mean? Are they being prosecuted?
Godfrey: Only a few are facing the courts. The rest will be allowed to live out their years in obscurity.
Richard: How much have these people stolen?
Godfrey: No-one knows. Perhaps enough to keep you in beer for the several lifetimes.
Richard: Who did you say identified this disease?
Godfrey: Who do you think? The man who can do no wrong. John Magufuli himself.
Richard: So he thinks the country is best by a plague of boils?
Godfrey: Yes, and he intends to lance every one of them. In the port, the docks, the Muhimbili, my John office, the Tax Ministry, the courts. Everywhere.
Richard: How will he do it?
Godfrey: (shrugs): That is the billion shilling question.
Richard: He will have to give the PCCB a lot more money and independence.
Godfrey: Well Edward Hoseah is no longer there.
Richard: You are not saying he has R.O.B? Hoseah is the most honest man in Tanzania. I know him well. Getting rid of him isn’t a good idea.
Godfrey: Even the best of us can fall foul of a purge.
Richard: And what about you and your case of G.O.B?
Godfrey: I will be well again next week. My good old-fashioned case of boils will go. Antibiotics will see to that. All I say is thank God I haven’t got R.O.B. The only way to fix that is to go to prison.