Of conmen-turned-saints, golden sand probes without grannies

18Jun 2017
Ali Nassor
The Guardian
Commentary
Of conmen-turned-saints, golden sand probes without grannies

I LIKE it here because it is indeed a wonderland. I imagine of a nation that has been habitually boasting of being the regional political and military powerhouse and smart in its commercial undertakingsto have been.........

allegedly duped of more than Sh380 trillion for 19 long years by a multinational corporation with dubious and phony entity.

To put it in the fifth phase government political lexicon, the corporation should simply be classified as a ghost company that was mysteriously extracting gold and exporting ores, hauling sand, soil and everything related to the mining. In fact, it was like a mining locust that would consume everything, leaving behind just bare dry land. 

I like it here because it still remains a mystery as to how the non-existent company was doing business with the previous governments led by the revered two grand dads. My friends do not rule out suggestion that the company must also have been operating in league with equally ghost governments. It’s a disgrace if there is one, isn’t it?

As usual, the current dad was quick to order that the responsible authorities and individuals who put Tanzania in disgrace during the 19-year period should be immediately taken to task. But on realizing that he had been too fast in making the decision, he immediately went public to ban newspapers from implicating grand dads not only into the golden sand saga, but in any other evil whatsoever done in the history of the nation they had been leading. “These are respected people who served our nation with all due diligence. Let them now lead a peaceful family life and do not dare touch them,” the dad announced.

I like it here because the worried grannies were assured peace in a remark that was received with mixed opinions among the public members. While some hailed the dad for his resort to deal iron-handedly with those believing that the grannies were not angels, others wondered how the dad would deal with the culprits behind the sand dunes scandal without touching the very heads of state and their subordinate officials.Some questioned the authenticity of the Commission’s report that was short of mentioning the grand dads, wondering how their governments could have been guilty of giving a leeway to looters without their involvement.

But when a rebellious opposition lawmaker called for an immediate amendment of the law that bans Tanzanians from criticizing grannies, not to mention a call for legal action against them, the chief law maker simply responded; “don’t you forget that there are two former prime ministers who might also fall into the same trap.” He was probably referring to the key defectors from the ruling party in the wake of October 2015 election campaign, in what appeared as a warning signal to the legislator that he was treading on the thorny path to a non-penetrable circle of oligarchs.

I like it here because one of the controversial duo was soon to appear before  television cameras to hail the dad for a vow to go tough with the sand saga culprits right from 1998. Knowing that he would be the last to be spared if dad’s team would be serious in their probes, he suggested a pre-condition for the implicated parties to be given room to express themselves. He gave citizen journalists a strong cause to speculate that this guy who had become a thorn in the flesh of the political authorities ever since he was condemned to opposition about two years ago,was threatening to open a Pandora box that would not only strip the untouchable grannies naked, but even the present dad who was an influentialfamily member when the grannies were dads.

But why all the farce about the worthless sand garbage that has been causing nothing but unprecedented damage to faraway investors? Here comes the chief of the ghost mining company with an answer. He jetted into town all the way from the tip of the Northern hemisphere to prove to the dad that his company was not as phony as it superficially appeared, but also confessing that the sand dunes were not as worthless as portrayed in the eyes of a layman.

He told the dad that there was no need to make an international farce out of peanuts that could be paid back at a glimpse of the eye. He expressed a will to re-engage himself in yet another loss-making endeavor in the form of mineral smelter in Tanzania as a sign of repentance for the 19-year old misunderstandings. Citizen journalists were quick to speculate that the deal was some kind of a blackmail that left the dad without choice amid dilemma of whether to resort to legal wrangles in international arena and risk the loss reminiscent of the “Magufuli fish” saga or to surrenderto proposals by the industrialized Northern native for a win-win engagement.

I like it here as I’m still perplexed as to the fate of the envisaged culprits of the sand scandal which is equally confusing of whether it was legal or not. Will they be taken to task if the once illegal deals have now been legalized? What happens when the Sh386 trillion that was once regarded as dirty has now been laundered into an interest-free loan to a once illegally operating company?I’m not even sure if the ghost company had been given life through fresh registration formalities by the time the Northern gold sand entrepreneur was jetting back home.But what is more puzzling to idiots of logics like me is a motive behind trusting someone who has been conning you for two decades, with yet another money-making venture typical of the past. I like it here because you don’t even smell a rat in a new mineral smelter by the same bad fellows.

But the truth lies somewhere there. The gold mania has crossed borders to our Southern neighbor, Mozambique. They associate everything with gold, such that it is widely believed that some people in Mozambique do walk with gold mines in their heads. The sad story is that the bore-headed in that country have of late been risking their lives the same way as Tanzania’s people with albinism as they have beencontinually on the run from superstitious fellows who believe they can make riches out of chopping the former’s body parts for witchcraft.